Someone Else Has Been Here T00
This story has been shared with permission in the hope that someone else may feel a little less alone. Every journey is unique, and we invite you to take what you need and leave the rest.
The Art of Depression
Shared with courage by
Anonymous
Topics:
Depression, Body Image
2 minute read
I don’t really know how it started, but I slipped into a depression.
Maybe I was overwhelmed. Maybe I was tired of everything and everyone. I just wanted to hide. I stopped going out and spent most of my time alone in my room, painting. Painting became my world. My easel felt like the only stable thing in my life. I poured so much of myself into it that it almost felt alive. Looking back, I think it became both a comfort and a reminder of how much I was struggling.
When I started high school, I had a breakdown on the first day. I came home in tears, completely overwhelmed. Everything felt too loud, too big, too much.
Eventually, my parents enrolled me in online school. I barely interacted with anyone outside my family. I didn’t have the energy to. I felt constantly low and disconnected. Days blurred together. I lost track of time. Entire seasons feel foggy when I try to remember them now.
As the months passed, my anxiety began to intensify. I started experiencing frequent panic attacks that affected my body as much as my mind. My appetite changed, and my weight fluctuated quickly, which only added to my stress. Doctors tried medication, and while it helped for a while, it didn’t feel like a complete solution.
Even now, my body hasn’t fully returned to what it was before, and comments from family about my appearance have stuck with me more than they probably realise. I already struggle with insecurity, and criticism at home makes it harder.
There were times when I didn’t want to keep living like that. I had moments where I questioned everything and made choices during dark periods that scared me later. More than anything, I just wanted peace. I wanted a simple, calm, happy life.
Right now, I’m still figuring things out. I’m not as “okay” as I once thought I was, but I’m also more aware. I know I need support. I know I deserve kindness, especially from myself.
I don’t know exactly what the future holds, and that uncertainty still scares me sometimes. But I’m still here and maybe that’s the beginning of something.
"Painting became my world. My easel felt like the only stable thing in my life. I poured so much of myself into it that it almost felt alive. Looking back, I think it became both a comfort and a reminder of how much I was struggling."
Something that helps me get through the hard times is reminding myself that I am more than my appearance. I am a talented artist and I have dreams to see where this takes me. It's something that I remind myself every time I feel down.
If you are struggling with your body image, speak to a professional that specialises in this area - the thoughts you have can feel big and overwhelming and it's helpful to find somewhere to out them.
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