Someone Else Has Been Here T00
This story has been shared with permission in the hope that someone else may feel a little less alone. Every journey is unique, and we invite you to take what you need and leave the rest.
The Pain of Loss
Shared with courage by
Emily
Topics:
Grief, Self-harm, Suicide
1 minute read
Hi, my name is Emily and this is my story.
When I was 12 years old, I was living in Detroit, Michigan, when my neighbour across the street abused me. I never told anyone about what happened until I moved to Wisconsin. By that time, it felt like it was too late to really do anything about it, and I had already spent so much time carrying it on my own.
That same year, one of my closest friends was killed in a horrible car accident on his way up north. I never talked to anyone about how I felt, and I started hurting myself as a way of coping with everything I was going through. There were also times when I didn't want to be here anymore, and I eventually spent four days in a mental health hospital. It was a very traumatic time for me because I was dealing with the death of my best friend, everything that had happened to me, and the huge move that had just taken place.
Before I moved to Wisconsin, I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. Even though I knew God was there, I still found myself turning towards self-injury whenever things became too difficult. I didn't really understand why. I think sometimes knowing that someone is there and actually knowing how to cope with what you're feeling are two very different things.
Then, one of my best friends died by suicide. That was incredibly difficult for me to deal with because I was on the phone with her at the time. It was one of the most horrific experiences I had ever been through. Knowing that someone I loved was in so much pain and feeling helpless because I didn't know what I could do was something I carried with me for a long time.
Now, in the past week, one of my good friends has been murdered. So now I'm dealing with that too. Sometimes it feels like there has been one loss after another, and I haven't always known where to put all of the pain. I am still learning how to cope with everything that has happened to me, and I don't have all the answers yet.
But I'm still here and I'm still trying to understand what I need, what helps me, and how I can keep moving forward, even when life feels incredibly heavy.
"It was a very traumatic time for me because I was dealing with the death of my best friend, everything that had happened to me, and the huge move that had just taken place."
I'm still figuring out what I need to do to navigate my grief, but right now i'm letting myself cry when I need to and take the time I need to process.
As someone who has lost a lot of people that I care about, my advice is to tell the people you love, how much you love them, while you have the chance.
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